Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Feeling Encouraged

We had a follow-up appointment today with Dr. Barsoom to see if my cervix is still behaving after the circlage last week. We were thankful to find out that it is still at least 3 1/2 cm, which is a normal cervix length. I will go back again next week to have it checked again, and I expect I will have weekly appointments at Bergan for quite a while. While I don't have to be as inactive as I have been since last week (Yay!), I do have to "take it easy" for the next five weeks. By then I will be 28 weeks, and the problems a premature baby would encounter are greatly reduced at that point. Of course our hope is that I would be able to carry this little girl until at least 36 weeks. The longer I carry her, the better.

I have an appointment with my primary OB, Dr. Ryder, this Thursday. I'm accepting the fact that I will be seeing my doctors constantly for the duration of this pregnancy, and I am appreciative that they want to keep a close eye on me. I feel confident in their care.

While we are excited about this news, we are still working through the loss of our Allie. A great encouragement to me was a book we received from our friends Mary and Steve, who are on our worship team at church. It is called, "I'll Hold You in Heaven." It's written by a pastor for parents who have suffered a loss of a baby during pregnancy or soon after delivery, and answers some questions about Allie's little life.

The main points are that God has designed every child to have a purpose, whether their little life goes beyond the womb or not. Allie's little life accomplished something in her brief 21 weeks...we trust that is true, as we have already felt her impact on our lives. And even though relationships don't exist the same way in heaven as they do here, heaven is a place where we are known. Allie will know us, and we will know her. I wish more than anything that we could have known her in this lifetime, but I am thankful that there is hope, and I will hold her someday.

In the meantime, we await the much hoped-for arrival of her sister. We continue to be so thankful for your prayers and acts of kindness. God continues to overwhelm us with His goodness through all of you.

With much love, Jessica


  1. wonderful news. loved reading this. nicole

  2. we are continuing to pray for ALL of you!

  3. Yay! So glad to hear the good news! Prayers continue to go up for you all!

  4. Thanks for sharing the hope you received from the book. It made me cry...partly from sadness and partly from excitement that we too one day will get to meet and hold the twin we lost. We continue to pray for your pregnancy and continued grieving. I promise it does get better especially when you get to see and hold the new baby. Rest and be comforted in his peace! Amy Nunamaker