Thursday, June 10, 2010

Happy Birthday, Olivia!!! (Two days late...)

It's hard to believe a year has gone by since our precious Olivia Ann arrived. It has gone incredibly fast, and given she's still such a little peanut, she seems too small to be one already. Yet, we are so thankful that we can celebrate her miraculous little life. We are so blessed to report that she is a happy and healthy little girl!

For my little Livie,

My sweet baby, you are such an incredible blessing to us. Not a day goes by that I don't praise God for the miracle of you.

You are such a happy little peanut...your constant smile brings me joy, your sweet little nuzzles melt my heart, and your little giggle makes my heart sing. I love watching you play with your big sister, climb on Baxter, "talk" on the phone, crawl all over with a mischevous grin on your face, and sleep peacefully in your bed.

I love how much you love your daddy, and how your face lights up when Emily walks in the room.

I love your teeny tiny feet, your little round belly, your soft little hands, your beautiful little face, your deep blue eyes, and your soft fuzzy hair.

I love that you still like to sit in my lap and be snuggled, and I love your precious little "kisses."

I love that God gave us you, and I promise never to take that for granted.

Olivia Ann, I love you with all my heart. I am so thankful to be your mommy, and I know daddy feels the same way too. Happy 1st Birthday, baby girl!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

One Year Ago

It's been a long time since I posted a blog. I'm not sure anyone will even see this, and in a way I almost hope that no one does. I think I feel that this is more of a cathartic entry rather than an informative one.

Right now we have family and friends going through some very difficult times. My heart has been aching for those around us who are hurting, and I have been on my knees asking God to heal bodies and hearts of those we love very dearly.

So in a way, I feel selfish writing about something other than the immediate needs of others. But in another way, I feel as though I can't let tomorrow pass without writing this entry.

We have been so blessed by Olivia Ann's little life. She is nearly 8 months old, sitting up, starting to scoot on her tummy, and "talking" like crazy. I can't believe how fast the time has gone. She and Emily are such joys, and we praise God for such beautiful, sweet, funny, and healthy little girls.

It was one year ago today that I had the laser ablation done at Mayo Clinic. Tomorrow it is one year since we lost our precious Allie Hope. God has grown my heart so much throughout the last year. My dependence on Him has grown, my trust has deepened, and I'm still amazed by the grace He shows me. He has blessed me by showing me ways Allie's life impacted the lives of others, and that has been such a gift.

Even so, I don't think He expects me to just move on and forget. I think about Allie everyday. I still wish she could be here, that I could know her during this lifetime. I will always miss her, always love her, and always grieve the dreams I had for her.

As I watch Olivia, I sometimes imagine Allie next to her. She would have looked just like Livie, and I'm sure she would have been just as sweet. It would have been a lot of fun to see them interact, and would have been a riot watching Emily mother the two of them.

But again, I cling to the promise that Allie is living a life free of any sorrow or pain, that she experiences nothing but joy in the presence of Jesus.

If I could ask God to give her a message from me, it would be to tell Allie that I love her more than I can ever say, I am so proud to have been her mommy, and I can't wait to meet her one day.

In memory of our baby girl

Allie Hope Reade

February 5, 2009