Not sure I have ever erupted into tears the moment I woke up. I can't leave our room without passing the empty Pack and Play, her hat and blanket neatly folded. Still smells like her.
As quickly as she came into our home, she left. Holding her as she gasped final agonal breaths late last night, I just kept telling her I loved her and that it was ok to let go. The struggle to live and breathe was over.
I have heard it said that the universal love language of infants is physical touch. From the beginning, my favorite thing to do with her was rub my cheek to hers. Not only did she have that amazingly soft baby skin, but it was the most tangible way to tell her "I love you, I am here with you."
It was so hard to watch them take that sweet delicate little body from her mommy's arms. Now today--5 days after we were elated to celebrate so many firsts with Avery in our home--we confront the day of firsts without her. And much as it seems an imposition to continue to ask for prayer, would you pray for us to have God's tangible presence in our home today? We need to hear those words from him that we fought so desperately to convey to Avery for the last six and a half days.
I meet with the funeral home at 4:30. There should be a post later today with date and time of service.
Thank you for honoring God and the dignity of Avery's life by your prayers.