Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Still hangin' in there...

Hello, dear friends. We've received a few emails and calls regarding our blog, asking, "Is no news good news?" Sorry we haven't posted in a while, and yes, so far things continue to go okay. I continue to see the MFM doctors at Bergan every week, but I wonder if people get tired of updates on my cervix. It's funny how things that would once make my face turn red to mention are now an everyday topic of conversation. =)

Tomorrow I have my appointment with my primary OB, and then this next Tuesday's appointment at Bergan will include a full scan of baby. I am very excited to see if she's catching up growth-wise...she's getting stronger it seems. She is a busy little girl and likes to move a lot! When I lay down at night or for a nap, she really starts going. It feels like she's doing somersaults in there...what a blessing! Also, next Wednesday I will hit 28 weeks, which is our next milestone. Many of the problems babies suffer from premature birth are reduced at that point. Of course, I would love to get all the way to 36 weeks if possible. We're praying that happens!

Many of you have asked how we are continuing to do emotionally. We continue to do okay. We both still definitely have our difficult moments/days. I miss Allie everyday...sometimes I wonder if people think I am crazy with the way I have handled losing her, the way I talk about her. As we are thinking about names for this other precious girl, I am always thinking, "What name goes well with Emily and Allie?" I know that it may seem weird to people for me to be this way when I will never get to actively be her mom, never hold her or care for her here on Earth. But I can't help how my heart feels, that she will always be my little girl as much as Emily and this other baby are. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, for I'm not saying that my response is the right one...I know others might handle this situation differently. I guess this is just the way God designed me, and the only way I know how to handle it.

In spite of this still being a challenging time in our lives, good things continue to happen around us. One of the most exciting things recently is that my best friend Gina and her husband Casey just welcomed a new baby boy on March 6th! Baby Leo is just as precious as can be! Gina lives in San Diego now, and before we had complications with this pregnancy, I fully planned on going to visit soon after baby arrived. But my doctors have said travel is a big no-no, so it pains me to have to wait to meet him in person. Gina was thinking ahead, though, and sent me a web-cam for Christmas so we can see him that way. Now if I could just get it set up...=) Congrats, Casey and Gina!!! We love all THREE of you!

Also, we have been able to get out of the house a little more, which has been great. This last weekend we had a date night event with my MOPS group, a brunch with our dinner club, and then a get together with our worship team. Tonight we went to see "Taken" with our friends Kyle and Melissa, and I must say it was a good, albeit intense, flick. My parents watched Emily and Baby Cole, Kyle and Melissa's 6 month old. I don't know who had the better evening, the four of us or Emily. Baby Cole is the apple of Emily's eye, so getting to spend the evening with Nana, Papa, AND Baby Cole...well, let's just say she was more wired than we have ever seen her by the time we came to pick her up.

I am also looking forward to this weekend with my friends Erin and Stacy. We originally wanted to take a girls' trip before both Stacy and I have babies, but again, no travel for me. So we are planning on having a great little getaway right here in the Big O. Who needs a crazy destination if the company is good? =) (And a big Thank You to the husbands for taking care of the kids!)

Thank you again for your continued prayers, support, and generous acts of kindness. It always seems like when I am having a hard day or struggling with questions over this situation, God provides comfort and answers through just the right phone call, text, card, email, etc., from one of you. We continue to be amazed and humbled by all of the love shown to us. God bless you all!

We will let you know how the ultrasound goes on Tuesday!!! =)

Love, Jessica


  1. So good to hear an update. I didn't get the chance to ask about these things even though I got to see you the other night. Thanks for your transparent hearts. I love looking at the picture below of all your smiling faces. May God give you many smiles this week.

    Sue Frerichs

  2. Thanks for the update chica, you all are frequently brought to mind - will continue to pray...

  3. I am excited for this weekend too! Can't wait! LOVED this post. And I think the way you have handled the entire situation has been amazing and wonderful. I love that Allie has a name and is treated dutifully like the part of the family that she is. I agree that is the best way for you. Love you and I will see you tonight!!!